Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
