Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
