yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
