I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
