i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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