Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
