no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
