Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm passing your future prison.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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