That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
