you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
