i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
