and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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