How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Bring me that man meat
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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