There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
