I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
