I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
