Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize
