Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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