I can tuck mytits in my pants
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You pole danced in your parka.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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