If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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