the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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