You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
