Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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