all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize