I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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