You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
should my penis look like a turkey
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
