So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
