I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
