im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
