Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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