Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
