just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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