also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize