It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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