Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
