I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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