His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
