so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
