he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
