He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
