can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize