forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
