You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
