You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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