Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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