so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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