Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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