We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
