My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like eating out sand paper
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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