You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
