What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize