I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize