I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
