It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
