Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
