the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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