Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
