i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
