Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize